The idea is that everyone has an unconscious greating gesture. If you mirror that gesture, it can help you gain rapport. Supposedly, it can instantly create very powerful rapport. Is this really true.
I do notice certain people nod as a sort of greeting. However, I don't understand how to use this to build strong rapport. It seems to work a little. Does it really work? Am I just not doing it very well?
I do notice there does seem to be someway to match somone's rhythm, and sort of connect to them with some rapport. However, sporadically when I'm in the right mood, I see to be able to instantly get pretty strong rapport with lots of people. What causes this? How can this be done consistently?
I think you answered the question already... When I'm in the right mood.... What does that imply about the situation? Sporadically is the only issue, and rapport is tricky because it's generally a specific thing (what works for me doesn't work for my friends because we're different people with different personalities) but here's what i've found to work well for me, and feel free to use what works for you....
For this specific issue, (the greeting) it seems to make sense that properly mirroring their action would build rapport... However, anything claiming INSTANT POWERFUL rapport in ALL scenarios I'm fairly skeptical of (for reasons i mentioned before...) Anyway, it would seem like having that initial rapport for the beginning of the interaction would make it stronger so there may be some validity to that point, I personally haven't tried it out, so I can't speak for it.
Now for the rapport tactics in general, for me it's become almost an unconscious process - when i meet someone to get into a state of playful curiosity, this allows me to have a congruent frame when getting to know them, as there's no agenda (hidden outcome I'm addicted to) it's honestly just wanting to know more about them, and also, the other things, mirroring and all these other tactics show up naturally when you use a frame like this.... Thats just setting the frame, and yours may be different, but in general it's a good rule to get out of your head, where you only think about what you want to get the rapport for (generally theres a reason if you look hard enough.... [check the heartless thread for more on outcome addiction])
Ahh, sorry, I never know how much depth to go into, so I'm always worried to say way to much.... Oh well.... Ask if you were confused on any points.... I'll be happy to go on, but I'd hate to bore anyone... ;)
I don't quite know what I'm doing, but I seem to be getting pretty good at establishing a basic rapport. I suppose I mirror tone of speech, accent, vocal rhythm, and body pacing. I think mirroring body expressions works best if you only mirror for an instant. Mirroring body movements, doesn't seem to work, and as far as I can tell seems to be counterproductive. A good clear, confident voice also seems to help.
Once a basic rapport is established, is that enough for most patterns to work? Is it useful to try to strengthen the rapport? How is this best achieved?
> Once a basic rapport is established, is that enough for most > patterns to work? Is it useful to try to strengthen the rapport? > How is this best achieved?
After rapport if you increase your sensory acuity then you can more effectively use patterns. Otherwise you are just babbling and you don't know if the other person is getting excited or pissed off at you.
I remember reading that when two humans meet for the first time they exchange up to fourty thousand pieces of information through predominately nonverbal means. Supposedly everything from social status to friendliness or intent to harm and even mood and attitude. Now I dont know if this is accurate or not but it is something to consider.
I used to raise dogs. One of the neat things about it is that you get good at reading a dogs body language. One thing I had noticed is that you can predict how dogs will react to each other depending on what angle they approch each other from and how the approch is made.
two days ago I ran across a conversational hypnosis course that mentioned the same thing with humans.
Interesting. I saw a movie where a preppy alpha male frat boy would approach someone with a handshake that swoop in from above with the palm facing down. This forced the other person to conform to the handshake by turning his palm up.
Sounds like the two dogs meetings.
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